she looked like the bat from fern gully.
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Randomize