Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
