okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
