just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
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