I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
Randomize
