Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
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