Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
Randomize
