Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
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