after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
I'm sorry, our booty call lines closed at 2 am. If you are receiving this message it is our off hours. Please try again between the hours of 12pm and 2 am to reschedule your booty call. Thank you for your cooperation.
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
Randomize
