I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Randomize
