I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
Holy sore nipples Batman
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
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