Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
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