Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
What happened to fro yo and sex?
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
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