So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
I yelled at your uterus for you.
Randomize
