It's like God shit irony all over that family
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
