we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
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