It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
Randomize
