You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
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