Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Randomize
