How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
We don't watch enough power rangers
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
Randomize
