She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
Randomize