My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
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