Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
In Vegas, have spent the last 48 hours wearing a viking helmet and fanny pack. I consider this to be a career high since drinking is my career
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
Randomize
