I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
Randomize
