i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
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