There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
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