What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
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