so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
The sky will open, cue choir of angels: "oh! wow! Matt was right! Not only will I grow out my bush, but I'm going to date straight, available men!"
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
Randomize
