i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
Randomize
