I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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