if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
Randomize
