"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
Randomize
