shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
50% drunk capacity currently
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
Randomize
