just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
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