He disabled his match.com account in front of me
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
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