He disabled his match.com account in front of me
I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
Randomize
