so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Randomize
