I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
I drank too much. My snot smells like vodka when I blow my nose.
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
Randomize
