how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
Sorry about the voicemail last night, people in hostel thought getting the clap from cheating on me wasn't enough and you hearing a 6 foot 5 Swedish dude bang the shit out of me was needed.
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
