is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
Randomize
