if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
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I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
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I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
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