i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
Randomize
