I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
Randomize
