Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
NoShamevember. You game?
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
Randomize
