he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
True strength comes from lack of pants
Randomize
