I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
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