you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
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