how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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