I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
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