using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
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