well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize
