I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
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