nut hugger
my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
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