Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
her vagina looked like bernie madoff
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
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