But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
We're hate flirting, damnit.
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
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