hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
