you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
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