in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
Randomize
