You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
Randomize
