I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
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