I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
Randomize